Adventure Forest

Adventure Forest

Driving a very long distances going to a unknown place.

All I was thinking about was to get to somewhere where there's fresh air.

We  were still driving I was bored  because there was nothing to do except me lowering my hand in a bag of popcorn and chips.

Finally we made it , fresh air was a poun us as I leaped out of the truck my legs wobbled it was like my body was a jelly. I was balancing myself. My body suddenly froze I was wondering where my beloved family would be .

There was a cluster of noises coming from the inside of the pitch black forest of pine trees.

I was carefully step by step walking through the trees but then I saw a little bridge. As i was

Crossing the bridge my mind flash before my eyes there was rope, wood, zip lines and slides.  Then as I walked a little bit closer I seen my family.

I was tightly gripping  my arms around my family hugging them with all my might.  

Ideas	Structure and Language	Organisation	Vocabulary	Sentence Structure	Spelling	Punctuation	Score
5	4	4	5	5	4	5	32/4p

Three thing I need to improve in my writing is to

Use more vocabulary

Write with interesting words

And use Structure and Language and Organisation